Norman Normalson is a normal nine-year-old boy. He hates to brush his teeth. He hates to take a bath. He hates school, especially math. He’s irritated by his younger half-brother who gets all the girls, can drive and has a mustache… at nine… months-old.
Norman Normalson is a normal nine-year-old boy, except for the fact that he’s an alien. He misses his hometown. He misses his friends. He misses soccer. He misses toilets. He misses Earth.
Norman Normalson’s life was flipped upside down when his mother died. His life was further flipped when his father met a new woman online. Again, when his father fell in love with the woman and decided they should move in with her on Epatrus, many parsecs away from Earth. On his new home, he’s flipped upside down every time he has to go to the bathroom.
On Earth, Norman was normal. He wasn’t the most popular kid in school, but he had friends. Norman got decent grades. He wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t dumb. He wasn’t a great athlete, but he liked sports and was above average in most he attempted. He loved fútbol, but called it soccer, which is kind of weird. Though, it is normal for his country to think they can take the world’s most popular sport and change its name. They’re arrogant like that.
On Epatrus, he was not normal. He was the only human in his school. He was the only one without a tail. He was one of the few who didn’t have a mustache. He was nine-years-old and couldn’t fly an F.T.O. His baby brother had to fly him to school. He was not good at playing brickenspricken. He was one of the few people who didn’t like to eat Epatrus’s primary food source, gwatuchorazz cheese.
He wasn’t the most popular kid in school, but he had friends. Norman was adopted by the outcasts of Gargamel Von Shliplestein Elementary School. Even among the outcasts, Norman stood out for the simple fact that he was human. Upon his inclusion in the group, they went from being called ‘freaks’ to being dubbed Norman Normalson And The Not So Normals. Eventually, their name was sarcastically shortened to Norman Normalson And The Normals or often simply The Normals.
Norman Normalson was slowly adjusting to the alien world that was now his home. Being picked-on became normal. Being flown around by his baby brother became normal. His dad going to work wearing tights, tap shoes, sweater vests, and curly blue clown wigs became normal. He was slowly adjusting to his step-mother. His friends were actually friends, not just the only people who would hang out with him. Norman Normalson was finally accepting the new normal when everything changed.
If Norman thought his life was turned upside down by the fecal extractor, wait till his baby brother disappears in a flash of light. Wait till his friends start disappearing. Wait until he and his friends take it upon themselves to solve the mystery. Wait until the robot that’s assigned to protect him tries to kill him. Wait until his friends and mentor try to convince him of the benefits of gwatuchorazz cheese. “It’s butt cheese.”
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