Snow Dogs: A Tale Of Ears

First, introductions:

Prince Troy And Abed In The Morning Delight (A.K.A. Troy, Troia, Screech, Kreacher, Baby Boy, etc…, Victoria Rose Delight (A.K.A. Tori, Bat Girl, Bat, & Victorious), & Charlie Chai Delight (A.K.A. Muppet, Mup, Charlie, The Muppet-Face Villain, Chuck, Charles, & Mommy)

Anyone familiar with this blog is probably aware of Charlie’s role in The L Squad. She was even the subject of a poem. This is not about that. This is about snow.

It rained here tremendously yesterday. Overnight, it snowed just as much, if not more. After I finished my morning work-out, I debated whether or not to go for my hike. Charlie might say, “Weather or not…” I’ve never met a dog so into puns. I am still relatively new to snow. I grew up on the coast of California. We didn’t have snow. I love it. I can’t drive in it worth gwatuchorazz cheese, but I like hiking in it. From the top of the mountain, our little community looks absolutely beautiful buried under a white glaze.

The little dogs love the snow. They will go in the yard and run around like dang fools. They will even bark at the falling snow, which is insane.

I know the snow is going to melt over the next few days. That’s what happens here. Snow is beautiful for a day or two. Then it’s mud. If I’m going to skip a hike day, my thought is that is should be a day they’re going to get muddy. I prefer to take the little dogs out and let them get a little wet than to take them out and get them a whole lot of muddy.

I bundled up like Randy from A Christmas Story, “Hey, kid!”, leashed the dogs, and embarked. Things were going snowily. Charlie got to poop in the snow. I got to pick it up in a little green bag. I don’t have a picture of either. Sorry. Charlie got to make tinkles in the snow. The other two were far too excited for bodily functions.

It is my wont to go up the mountain. Usually, I will run part of the way until it gets too steep and I get too weak. There’s always that point where my legs say, “We’re wobbly.” That happened early on this trek. Running in the snow is like running in the snow. Running uphill in the snow is like not going to happen.

I’ve taken the triumvirate for hikes in the snow multiple times. They will often gather snow as we go. They get these little snowballs on their feet and chest. I’ve tried snowshoes. They don’t make it a block. About halfway up the mountain, I noticed Troy had a huge ball, bigger than his head, stuck on his leg. He and Bat both had a bunch of little snowballs in their ears. It was kind of funny. I wished I had brought my phone so that I could take pictures. They have to walk with their faces to the ground in case of smells. At one point, I saw Bat rub her face in the snow. Fortunately, Charlie is far too civilized to put her face anywhere near the ground.

By the time we got to the top of the mountain, it wasn’t funny anymore. We all started sinking in the snow. After a little while, I was stopping every few feet to relieve them of huge snowballs from their feet, chests, and ears. The snow in Troy and Tori’s ears was literally stretching their scalps and making their eyes bulge.

Finally, Charlie had enough. She said, “This is ridiculous. We are going back.” She didn’t say this with words. She just turned around and started walking. I don’t think she cared if the rest of us followed or not.

I’m pretty sure that if we kept going forward, the snow wouldn’t have been as thick as what we just walked through, but I wanted to get them home as soon as possible. I didn’t want to take the chance.

When we were less than a block from home, Troy decided he didn’t want to walk anymore. Charlie, the only one who doesn’t require a leash, kept stopping and falling behind. Troy and Tori love to get wrapped in their leashes. It is leash anarchy with those two. Today, the leashes were getting wrapped around their legs, the snowballs in their legs, and the snowballs in their ears. I tried to carry Tori at one point, but the leashes were so tangled I could hardly get her off the ground.

We finally got home and this happened:

“Seriously? What are you doing to me?” – Charlie

This is what happens when you take a California coastal boy and move him to the Sierra Nevadas, which literally translates to Snowy Mountains.

Poor babies. Look at their eyes.

They left a trail of snow all the way to the bathroom. The heater was on. I turned on a small personal heater. I tried to get the snowballs out, which usually ended in squeals. The snowballs would usually turn to iceballs in my hand instead of coming off. It didn’t work. I locked them in there for a half an hour to 45 minutes. Troy lived up to his Screech moniker by whining the whole time. I checked on them often, with treats in hand. They even escaped twice. They actually pushed the shower doors open and jumped out of the tub.

Following their second escape, I decided to expedite the snow removal process. It was getting slushy. My best friend/roommate has a super dog grooming hair drier. They are her dogs. I went back into the bathroom armed with said hair drier. It was so hot in there it was like a sauna. About half an hour later, they were finally released from the bathroom.

The first thing Bat wanted to do was go outside in the snow. Denied.