Chivalry Is Dead: A Homophonous Adventure

Cubby, my most challenging friend, has issued another challenge/prompt. This is my first hybrid. This one was to write a poem using homophones, words that sound the same, but have different meaning like red and read or read and reed. The results are supposed to be silly and nonsensical. I decided to add an extra challenge and make it make sense. Of course, since sense is in the mind of the reader, that’s more up to you than me. What I mean is I tried to use a homophone for the word one would normally use giving the sentence a different meaning, but still retain meaning. For example, “I’m going to save the princes,” instead of “I’m going to save the princess.” The sound isn’t exactly the same, but it’s close enough. I want to do another that is totally nonsensical because I love nonsensical whimsy. This is still whimsical and silly, but, I think, there’s a logical flow to it.

The first two lines are the prompt. I only managed 7 homophones. The nonsensical one will much easier.

Update: After a few days of distraction, I finally posted my nonsensical attempt. Chivalry Resurrected: Homophone Inaction

Chivalry Is Dead

Gone are the days of princesses
And nights in shining armor
Saving ladies in this dress is
Not a good idea for a former charmer

But, please, you’ll have to bare with me
If I’m going to save the princes
First, I need clothing that is comfy
In order to travel great distances

I have my shears to shear U
Back there and bare your… but…
Wait… You will be cold if I do
Just a sheer shape of a U on your… what?

No, I don’t usually talk to sheep
I want to create a comfortable atmosphere
Though, I do count ewe when I go to sleep
Now that I have clothes, to where?