Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo.
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
I wrote two today. One, the second one, is very disturbing. I couldn’t post it alone. I needed a buffer. I’ve written and posted disturbing things, but this is beyond anything I’ve written or posted. The fact that it’s based on something that happens in reality, albeit a reality most of us thankfully never see, makes it… I don’t have a word. Disturbing? Sick? Depraved? Appalling? Atrocity? Unimaginable? It’s beyond what my mind will accept as reality. It’s unthinkable. It’s not something we want to think about, but it happens. The fact that it happens proves that humanity’s potential for depravity knows no bounds. Some American presidents, at least one, even referred to an individual known to partake in these atrocities as a “terrific guy.” Why did my mind go there? I’ve seen documentaries, some I couldn’t finish, and other stories relating to this recently. Why did I write it in the first person? I think it made it more real. I wanted the reader to look through his eyes, for it to unfold as he sees it. I think it makes it more powerful. I hope so. If the first one bothers you, don’t read the second. I think my introductory disclaimer is longer than both stories combined.
Another Picture
The pictures were piling up on my desk. The questions piled up just as fast. The clues… The clues were nonexistent.
There seemed to be no pattern other than they were young women, even girls. From prostitutes to socialites, they were all open game to him. He didn’t seem to care about skin tone, ethnicity, or background.
This case chewed up and spat out almost as many detectives as there were pictures. They threw themselves all in until they burned out like the cigarettes that piled up in their ashtrays.
Another picture. Another girl. She was… not just another girl.
The Great American Myth
Pictures. There were so many pictures. Young girls. Some taken from their families. Some fleeing bad situations. Some coming to America to chase the great American myth.
Hispanic, Asian, Russian, Middle Eastern… They were all represented, even American runaways. Blondes, redheads… They were there, too. Their ages spanned from 12 to early twenties.
They were no longer human. They were pictures. They were chattel to be sold to the highest bidder.
One stood out from the rest. There was something about her that caught my attention. She was blonde with blue eyes, about 13.
“This one. I’ll take this one.”
These stories made me uncomfortable
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That’s probably a good thing. Murder and sex trafficing shouldn’t be comfortable topics.
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Powerful and disturbing. The second one – the switch from sounding like a man of empathy to just another trader… to disturbing for words. You excelled yourself this week.
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Thank you. That transition was exactly what I was going for. I’m glad it came across.
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I like the second story.
But, on a fiction site, I don’t understand the need for the up-front explanation.
The story would have more impact without it, I think.
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I’m an overexplainer. It’s that simple. I always feel the need to explain everything. I don’t know why. You’re probably right.
Thank you.
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I suggest that you explain nothing, it is fiction:
https://ceayr.com/2016/07/27/the-job-friday-fictioneers/
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You’re right. I’ll try.
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Most people on FF are prepared to work a little to ‘get’ the story, Nobbinmaug. People like me would be lost if they weren’t. 😉
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It’s not my underestimation of the intelligence of the FF participants. It’s just my nature.
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Excellent, liked them both. The first as the start of a detective thriller, but the second is disturbing and great. Like CE, I wonder if the explanation is necessary, the story is strong enough to stand on it’s own.
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Thank you. I know. Overexplainer. I’ll work on it. Subtlety (that’s a weird word) has never been one of my strengths.
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I read the stories and felt they were a part of one story, connected somehow. The underbelly. Both good reads. Shocking the cruelty in the world.
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I never thought of them as connected, but now that you mention it, I can see the possibility.
Thank you.
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Dear Nobbin,
Both stories are disturbing, the second in particular. I have to say I agree with C.E. in that your stories needed no explanation. The last line of the second story chilled me to the bone. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Got it! I’ll work on explaining less. It’ll be good for me to work on my subtlety.
Thank you, Rochelle. I’m glad I could chill you. That was the point. If I did it right, it should give people a sick feeling.
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What is most disturbing about these stories is they are fiction based on fact. These are timeless in that the subject still happens today and will in the future. Even in our modern civilised western world.
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No need for the explanations on these stories. They both stand alone in their writing. One, even the last one, would have been OK. Of course, not the incidents but the stories themselves of what’s happening everyday. Too many depraved people out there. Your stories are right out of the evening news I see everyday. It’s getting more and more difficult to watch the evening news. Well done …
Isadora 😎
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Yes, the reality is horribly disturbing. My stories even disturbed me. Thank you.
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Incredibly sad 🙁😎
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This kind of thing happens way more than anyone wants to think about. Nobody in the hierarchy of command seems to care enough to do much. The labor trafficking is just as rampant, even more so 😦
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I don’t like to think about it. It was disturbing for me, and I wrote it.
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I’ll second and third and whatever the motion!
Both stories are excellent – superbly written. As a result, no explanation is necessary – especially since all you really did was try to warn, which in this group, has its share of gruesome so… again, not necessary 😉
So, in case my comment got lost in my explanation… I loved both stories as they were superbly written.
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I counted the votes and don’t explain has emerged as the clear winner,
Thank you.
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LOL!
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Both stories are really disturbing, especially the end of the second one. Very well-written.
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I’m glad you were disturbed. It would be disturbing in turn if someone commented, “Weeeee! Where can I get one of those?”
Thank you.
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Indeed.
You’re welcome.
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The ugliness is certainly disturbing, but not as disturbing as that last line.
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Yeah, it made me uncomfortable to type and post, but it was too good of an ending to pass up.
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