Friday Fictioneers: April Fools!/Fragile Species

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo. Click here to play along.

PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy

Shouldn’t it be Anti-Social Distancing?

I accidentally wrote two this week. Both are brilliant. Cherish them. Or don’t. Either way.

April Fools!

“That is not a phone.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s an old-timey phone.”

“No. Phones look like this. See? Does that thing even have WiFi?”

“No. Old-timey phones didn’t get WiFi.”

“See? It’s not a phone. No WiFi, no phone.”

“I’m telling you, it’s a phone.”

“Mooooooooooooom!”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Lizzie says that thing’s a phone.”

“You scared the doodliepoops out of me.”

“Lizzie’s making up stories.”

“It is a phone.”

“Haha, April Fools!”

“No, seriously. Before that, phones used a dial, and they had cords.”

Sarah called the authorities, on her actual phone, and had her mom and Lizzie committed.

Fragile Species

This planet was dominated by a species called homo sapiens. They rose to prominence via their intelligence. Somewhere during their evolution, they lost that intelligence or grew arrogant and apathetic.

They were a fragile species. Still, they were violent. They polluted their planet and bodies. They ignored warnings about the spread of disease. The planet retaliated.

Their pollution led to changes in the weather. Viruses mutated and grew stronger. Animal life became more aggressive. Deer attacked their freeways. Rodents, birds, raccoons usurped their edifices.

We have studied them through something called YouTube. They were a horrible species, destined for failure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fragile Species” is not about a certain virus, which shall not be named. It was inspired by the bird in the picture and a true story. It is so bizarre that this is the second story I’ve worked it into. The first is here.

The other night, my best friend/roommate went shopping after work. (She works as a medical biller, which, in a time of mass illness, is essential. Really? That’s the most important thing? To make sure sick people pay their bills? That’s more important than her staying home and not getting and spreading the virus? She’s such a good person that she volunteered to make masks for those who have to see patients. Sorry for that mini-rant tangent.) Around 19:00, I got a frantic, incoherent call.

What happened? Did someone get within 6 six feet? Did she find toilet tissue and have it taken from her? Did someone cough in her vicinity?

No!

She eventually calmed down enough to tell me pieces of what happened. She was driving on the nearly empty freeway. When, suddenly, out of somewhere, a deer ran across the freeway and hit her car. Let me say that again. A deer ran across the FREEWAY and HIT her car. He slammed himself into the side of the car going 65ish MPH.

My theory is that deer watch “The Walking Dead” and assume that’s where we’re going, so they’re taking this opportunity to take over the world. Or it’s a revenge hit for all the deer she hit while living in a small coastal town in Northern California.

48 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: April Fools!/Fragile Species

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    1. Thanks. There’s a lot from history that’s not believable. Of course, when it’s mixed with myths and legends, sometimes it’s hard to find what’s real and what’s not.

      Like

  1. Two good stories! I actually was driving back from work late the other day and there were about eight or nine deer on a national speed limit road! Luckily I wasn’t going very fast, but maybe your theory is right and they are taking over!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you’d really wanted to freak them out, you could have told them about the ones with wind up handles that needed a human operator to connect them and half your neighbours would be listening in on the party line. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. If you have netflix, watch, “Zoo” and you’ll see (non-human) animals on full-scale assault of us humans. We’ve generated untold bad karma on ourselves that needs to be paid.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do have Netflix. I’ll have to look into that. We humans are bad to ourselves. That reminds me of an Alicia Keys song, “Kill Your Mama.” It’s about how our behavior is killing our Mother Earth.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The issue with humans is there is just as much good as there is bad. Unfortunetly there are too many absent mindedness in the masses and greed drives the top end. Too many on the planet. Poor animals.

    Anyway great 2 stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Nobbin,

    I loved both stories. At first when I saw your title, I thought you were referring to males specifically. I relate to your friend. I’ve had a deer hit me. Probably an ambulance chasing animal, too. Frightening to think that another species might get all their knowledge from YouTube, isn’t it? Good read all around.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s crazy that it happened to you, too. I’ve hit my share of deer, but for a deer to run into a moving vehicle is not something I would have imagined could happen.

      Sadly, it’s much easier to find foolishness on YouTube than quality viewing.

      I’m glad you enjoyed both stories. Thank you.

      Like

  6. Two excellent stories so I can’t even bitch about you making me stay so long 😉
    We are a horrible and fragile species.
    As for your friend… Whoa! ON A FREEWAY no less!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I looked before I posted and thought, “That is a really long post for a 100-word story.” I’m glad I could make it worth your while.

      YES! 65 MPH on the freeway. What are the odds?

      Liked by 1 person

  7. A kamikaze deer whammed into the side of my van on a country road in central Minnesota over 25 years ago. I wonder if this is a silent movement dedicated to annihilating vans–or maybe drivers?

    Liked by 1 person

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