Bidet? No Way! … Oh, Wait.

I’m working on editing my novel, So It Goes. Today, I was working on editing and came across a tangent in the book. I’m good at tangents, which may not be good. Given our current toilet tissue crisis, it seems more relevant now than it did when I wrote it. I thought it was a good time to share it. Remember, I wrote this a year or two ago.

While we’re improving and adapting, may we please get bidets in our homes? Seriously, tissue? What the fuck is that? That makes as much sense as the seashells from “Demolition Man.” Come on. Squirt, squirt, bitch. Wash out that shit. Literally. Wash out that shit. Do they come with air dryers? I want a petite robot hand that gently pats my tooshie with a soft cloth. Just like mommy used to do… last week.

4 thoughts on “Bidet? No Way! … Oh, Wait.

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  1. What’s with Americans? When there first was the ruckus about TP, I said, “What ever happened to soap and water?” My friends went “Eww!” Or laughed because they thought I was kidding. Really? Remind me not to share a bed with you. There are bidets here, but they’re hard to find and install. We haven’t come so far from the outhouse out back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We, Americans, are like spoiled teenagers. We do things just to rebel and be different. “We’ll call it Soccer if we want.” Football’s a game where the foot and ball scarcely collide here. “Metric? That’s too hard.” Like 12 inches in a foot makes more sense than a base-ten system.

      Like wiping with tissue is cleaner than soap and water?

      Liked by 1 person

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