Friday Fictioneers: It’s Cold

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo. Click here to play along.


PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

It’s Cold

Luigi watched as Carmine laughed with his family. It had been 20 years, but Luigi would never forget that face, that night. Did Carmine remember?

“Good evening. I’m Luigi. How is everything tonight?”

“Excellent,” said Carmine.

“It’s cold,” said the girl, with a little cough. His daughter. She was about 6, the same age Luigi’s daughter was.

The boy, a little older, had the same complaint.

“Mine, too,” said the gorgeous blonde. Carmine’s trophy wife. Pregnant.

“Mine’s steaming,” said Carmine.

“I can’t breathe so good,” said the blonde.

“Their’s are supposed to be cold. It’s a dish I call revenge.”

37 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: It’s Cold

Add yours

  1. Dear Nobbin,

    There’s a backstory there, but I’m not completely sure what. I gather something happened to Luigi’s daughter 20 years prior? Either way the last line served up is a good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. No backstory. Luigi decided he wanted a good revenge story. “The next person who comes into the restaurant… REVENGE!!!” Yeah, there might be a little backstory, and you’ve gathered it correctly. Thank you.

      Like

    1. Luigi is the owner of the restaurant. Camine is in some way responsible for the death of Luigi’s daughter. Maybe he’s a hitman. Maybe he’s in the mafia and ordered the hit. Maybe it was a stray bullet, or he hit her with his car. Maybe he’s a government official who suggested she drink bleach to ward off the coronavirus. Then said it was only a prank to see what would happen. Luigi saw Carmine come into his restaurant and poisoned his family while Carmine sat helpless. It’s a heartwarming story of a man who sets a goal and achieves it after 20 years.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I couldn’t help it. An evil cackle burst forth. Long overdue, but he should have been served the cold dish, not his innocent family! I understand he will suffer more with his family gone. Just sayin… Great story, Nobbin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know. Luigi’s lived for 20 years with the loss of his daughter for something Carmine did. He wanted Carmine to feel the pain. It’s the innocents who had to pay. That’s the tragedy of it. Thank you, Ms. Jade.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been making a conscious effort to not include COVID in my stories. I didn’t even think about that with the cough. You’re right, though. Coughs are the things of nightmares now. I remind myself when I cough that it’s not a corona cough.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the premise. It took me some studying to realize that when the child said “It’s cold”, she was referring to the food, not the weather. I also didn’t realize that Luigi’s daughter was six when she died, not six at the time of the story. I’m thinking this could make a great story for Alfred Hitchcock magazine, if you expand it a little.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The word count forced me to leave a lot unsaid. I was hoping I could get by with some subtlety. Originally, she said, “Mine’s cold,” but since I titled it “It’s Cold,” I wanted her to say that. I know it’s a little awkward.

      I didn’t even know there was an Alfred Hitchcock Magazine. I love Alfred Hitchcock. I’m going to have to look into that.

      Thank you.

      Like

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