Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo. Click here to play along.
PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Wayne Fields
Prey
In the minutes before the blood spray coated the hats, he watched, silently. He could see her through the hat rack, talking, laughing. She was intensely unaware of him.
His heart pounded. His chest tightened. His breath thickened. Beads of sweat dripped down his face.
He dabbed his forehead, took a deep breath.
At that moment, everyone and everything disappeared. His focus was firmly fixed on her.
She was elegant, intoxicating, enchanting. So enchanting, in fact, that he didn’t notice the assassin creep up behind him, or hear the shot, or feel the bullet crack the back of his cranium.
NobbinBlog 
Now that first sentence is what I call a hook
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That’s what I was going for. Thank you.
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Dear Nobbin,
Here I thought he was the assassin having second thoughts. Good misdirect.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nope. Just a shy guy trying to compose himself to talk to an attractive woman. It’s mind-blowing. Thank you.
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Oh! You sneaky one you. Excellent write!
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I’m not the assassin.
Or am I?
Thank you.
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Your pen was.
Or wasn’t.
Most welcome. Sooo good!
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The perfect twist requires a definite clue within the narration, hidden by diversion, smoke and mirrors. You did it perfectly.
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Normally, I would say there’s no such thing as perfection, but you make a convincing argument. I’ll allow it. Thank you.
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Well done at every turn. Hook, line, and sinker!
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Thank you.
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Brilliantly imagined and executed. 😉
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Somebody definitely got executed. Thank you.
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As always, the love interest is the spy’s undoing! Good story.
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That’s why Varys was so effective. Thank you.
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Dexter puts an end to another one. Usually he uses a syringe, but this time he changed it up. Great setting of tension and I’m glad the MC was “taken out.”
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I loved Dexter, except the last season.
He wasn’t a Dexter. He was trying to work up the nerve to talk to an attractive woman. You followed the misdirect.
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I wasn’t talking about the one who was killed, I’m talking about whomever shot him. I’ll take your word for it on the deceased. He was acting like a stalker in my mind.
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All right. That’s almost fair. To me, a stalker is one who follows someone home, goes through garbage, steals underwear… In my mind, he just saw her, and he’s trying to find the nerve and words to go talk to her. I played that up to heighten the misdirect.
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OK, if he was just walking along, minding his own business, and randomly was stopped in his tracks by a gorgeous woman whom he planned on striking up a conversation with after pausing a moment to collect his thoughts, cool. In my mind, he was a stalker, ready to kill again, when Dexter intervened. Now you see how my mind works! Thanks for the explanation.
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p.s. Do you have 3 of the same kind of dog or 3 different breeds? I’ve seen both up. Thing is one cute puppy.
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Four Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. I used to dogsit, so I have put up pics of Charlie with other types of dogs. That’s when she was an only dog.
Yes, Thing is ridiculously adorable. Thank you. I was dead set against the fourth, but she won me over in about 24 hours. She’s curled up on my lap again. The other two girls can’t breed anymore, so the fourth was necessary to perpetuate my roommate’s breeding program.
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A great tale of fatal attraction. Who can resist romance and spies?
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I wouldn’t have been fatal if spies could resist romance. Thank you.
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Spies are human too. On the other hand, if they make robotic spies …….
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They’ve done that. Her name’s Alexa.
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Ah! How interesting. I need to write a story about her 🙂
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I think he died happy…
Great storytelling!
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It’s probably not a bad way to go. One might say she was… drop-dead gorgeous. Thank you.
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If there’s one way to get me hooked on something, it’s to mention “blood spray” right at the start! I wonder if she was a deliberate distraction or just a stroke of luck for the assassin?
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Blood spray! Good question. I didn’t even consider that angle. I was more concerned about the angle of the blood spray.
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Yup, you got me there. I thought she was for it. Well done
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Music to my eyes. Thank you.
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That was graphic! I liked the structure, the early reveal and then the conclusion.
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That’s pretty much the whole thing! (Smart-ass!) Thank you.
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Great hook at the opening and a totally unexpected end! Well done
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Thank you. It was a fun one to write and read the reactions.
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Wow! Expertly done – and you managed it in just 100 words. Brilliant.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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A ‘Wow!’ and a ‘Brilliant.’ in the same comment. That will make me smile. Thank you.
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Wonderfully atmospheric from beginning to end! Nice one.
My short story
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Thank you.
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Poor guy. He never even had a chance.
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Nope. I imagine he lived in a world where letting down one’s guard has serious repercussions.
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Ah! the bait and switch. Expertly done.
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That’s exactly how I was thinking of it. Thank you.
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Excellent…perfection executed. Loved it!
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Pun intended? Thank you.
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A powerful twist. Which led me to wondered what he did wrong
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Great misdirect! Kudos.
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Thank you.
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Hmm… were the lady and the assassin in cahoots? You succeeded in misleading me… sly one you are!
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Someone else asked that. I didn’t think of it that way. I think the assassin saw an opportunity and took it. My goal going in was to mislead you. Thank you.
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Well executed, literally, Nobbin!
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Thank you, Natasha.
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