Fellow Friday Fictioneer, Tannille has nominated me for the Liebster Award. Thank you, Tannille. Not just because the rules state that I must thank you. I always appreciate when people remember I exist. It doesn’t happen often.
These things feel more like chain letters than awards. I was nominated for one before, the Versatile Blogger Award, and didn’t even get invited to the ceremony. I only accepted because I thought it said Lobster Award. I could get crackin’ with some lobster.
There are rules.
You can’t rush the stage and take the award from Puff Daddy (Diddy) or Taylor Swift (Taylor Swift) even if Wu-Tang is for the children, or Beyoncé is more deserving. There’s more. This award has to be earned.
1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you.
2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger(s) asked you.
4. Nominate 11 bloggers and make them happy!
5. Make up to 11 questions and ask them to your nominees.
6. Notify your 11 nominees.
**I don’t know if these are supposed to be about Nobbinmaug or the wonderful wizard behind Nobbinmaug. I’m sure that’s not usually an issue.**
11 Facts About Nobbinmaug:
(Some of these might be more “fact” than fact. Facts are relative these days.)
1. an Eereeenían from the planet Eereeeneeee.
2. the author of three brilliant books.
3. enormous where it counts… his heart. Eereeeníans’ blood is very thick. It requires a massive, powerful organ to pump it and keep it flowing.
4. not bound by the laws of time.
5. a teacher on Epatrus sometimes.
6. disappointed with the behavior of humanity.
7. sitting in a chair. A space chair from space.
8. aware if you’re sleeping or awake or if you’ve been good or bad, so be bad for goodness sake.
9. not obsessed with the number 11 unlike some people.
11. mostly fictional.
11 Facts About The Gentleman Behind The Beard & Magic Cane:
1. My name is not really Nobbinmaug. Mind-blowing, I know.
2. Kurt Vonnegut and Douglas Adams are my spiritual guides on my journey to becoming a writer. Dostoevsky’s the nagging voice in my head. “Use your characters to find existential truths.” “I don’t even know what that means.” “Just do it or we will make Kanye president next.” “O.K. O.K. Please don’t.”
3. I inadvertently based Eereeeníans on Tralfamadorians.
4. I am partially Aztec. How often do you meet an Aztec? You’re welcome.
5. Nobbinmaug came to me in a dream and commanded that I be the human vessel to tell his stories. That makes me sound completely fuckin’ insane. Oh well!
6. I hang upside down for a half an hour every day. I’m pretty sure that’s how one becomes Batman.
7. I approach everything like it’s a joke. If it’s not, it should be. The world would be a better place.
8. I have to create to survive. That is not hyperbole.
9. I am a perfectionist. (I’m working on the tenth draft of The L Squad.)
10. I am shy and awkward and intensely private, which is why I want to be a famous author.
11. I am also mostly fictional.
(See what I did there?) (In the order I find links to their pages.)
2. Inside the Mind of Isadora
3. Tao Talk
5. Marysa Writes
6. Sascha Darlington
7. Becoming Unstuck
8. Björn Rudberg
11. Susan A Eames (I’m assuming this is allowed to leap to BlogSpot.)
1. What is your overall goal for your blog?
2. How often do you post? Why?
I think Tannille got confused here. This is question #2, not 2 questions. I post weekly, Friday Fictioneers. I should post more, but blogging takes away time I should be working on my books.
3. Is this your first attempt at a blog or webpage?
No. I had a website and blog for my radio show. I had a MySpace and Facebook when I was trying to break into stand up comedy.
4. What are your interests outside of blogging?
Not dying from COVID, writing, reading, hiking, working out, video games, movies, TV, planning improbable adventures with Tannille… I love a good story in whatever form I can find it.
5. Are you owned by any pets?
That is a great way to phrase this question. I don’t have any pets, but my roommate has four dogs all of which own me. I am the lowest being in the hierarchy of the home.
6. If non-hostile aliens came down to earth and offered (to) take you with them when they left, would you accept the offer? (family welcome on request)
Nobbinmaug would be all for that. More adventures mean more stories. Human me would have concerns about their artificial gravity capabilities and diet. Bone density, muscle mass, and sustenance are important to me. How attractive are their females? Are they interested in interspecies action? What’s the shower/bathroom situation? Should I bring a towel?
7. What is your favourite genre to watch or read?
Sci-Fi or literary fiction. I don’t do well with supernatural unless the story and writing are well done. I can overlook a lot if the story and writing are good.
8. Name one event in history you would travel back in time for?
My conception in the bathroom of an Italian restaurant. I’d like to suggest they reconsider. “Maybe let’s not.” (That’s kind of a joke. The house where my parents lived when I was conceived was torn down to build an Italian restaurant. I’ve eaten there, which is probably weird.)
9. How do you like to relax?
By filling out epic questionnaires to finalize my nomination for an award I’m fairly certain doesn’t exist.
10. Given the chance what (would) you tell your younger self?
In year 2017, you will meet a tiny, Filipina woman whose smile will illuminate your soul. Do not fuck it up. (With a lot more detail, maps, diagrams…)
11. Identify a mystery you burn to know the answer to?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I’ve always assumed the answer is three, but I’ve never been able to confirm that.
2. Would you rather have a pet gargoyle or griffin?
3. What’s your favorite snack food?
4. Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
5. If you were to build an ark, or commission cheap labor, and take 7 types of animal to a far away land, what would they be?
6. How many things do you know?
7. If you could breathe underwater, where would you go?
8. How do you feel about questionnaires with ridiculous, nonsensical questions?
9. Who would be a better world leader Joe Exotic or Kanye West?
10. If you had four Oreos to bet, who would you bet on to win a no-hold barred cage match to the death between the Beatles and the Spice Girls?
11. What’s the meaning of life?
I spent way too much time on this, but I had fun with it.