Friday Fictioneers: Blind Tears

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by said photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

It makes me feel better about myself to write about guys who are more hopeless with women than me. Of course, that only goes so far since they’re fictional characters in fictional stories.

Blind Tears

“What is it?” asked Lizzie

“It’s a statue,” said Larry.

“I see that it’s a statue. What’s its importance?”

“I made it. It represents humanity’s blindness to the suffering of the world.”

“Why’s it a Conehead?”

“What? It’s not a Conehead.”

A few meters away, a similar scene unfolded.

“I sculpted it for you. It’s humanity crying for our fate.”

“Why does its head look like a butt?”

Meanwhile, Lizzie got out her phone.

“According to Wikipedia, this is called Consumerism, by Aaron Aykroyd. It represents our blind need to consume mass quantities.”

“Uh… Well… Um… You can’t trust Wikipedia.”

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Friday Fictioneers: If…

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by said photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

I traded in my goofiness for a little dystopian sci-fi this week. This one borrows a little from the sci-fi world inhabited by The L Squad.

If…

“Remember solar power?”

“I remember reading about it as a theory.”

“Well, yeah. If these things were solar-powered, we could be winning this war.”

“The sun hasn’t permeated the smog for decades.”

“I know. I’m saying if the Gar’roids didn’t have to retreat to a charging station so often, if they could charge as they fought, we could potentially repel this invasion.”

“It’s a little late to redesign our planetary defenses.”

“But if…”

“If ‘ifs’ were butterflies they wouldn’t be extinct. The XaXets are invading Earth, not some fantasy world where our gargantuan battle androids are powered by the sun.”

 

Friday Fictioneers: Worst Date

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by said photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

I’m sure most people are going to focus on the flag and for some sort of patriotic story. I’m not. I don’t eat fast food. I’m not big on fried food, either. I had to do research to see what KFC has. This extends my absurd story streak to three. Someday I’ll write something serious again. I’m working on a book that’s pretty serious, so my absurdities have to come out here.

I’m going to a big family thing this evening through the weekend. If I’m slow to respond to comments or don’t read other people’s entries, it’s nothing personal. My apologies.

Worst Date

“So, KFC?”

“Yeah, they have a two-piece combo for only $2.99.”

“That’s a good deal.”

“They also have a Cheetos sandwich that’s lit.”

“Cool. Cool. Um… You know I’m a vegetarian, right?”

“Right. They have mashed potatoes and like green beans and mac and cheese. It’s pretty lit.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“I hope this bitch doesn’t spit in our food. I used to hang out with her sister, till she caught me with her friend. We weren’t doin’ nothing, but she got pissed.”

“That’s rough.”

“It was prolly her time of the month. What do you want to do after this?”

Friday Fictioneers: Understudy

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by said photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Of Mice And Men: The Musical was the most absurd musical I could think of this morning. I think all musicals are absurd. As it turns out, there is actually an opera based on Steinbeck’s classic. Sure. Why not? My fictional Of Mice And Men: The Musical is in no way related to the opera. It was just supposed to be silly.

Understudy

This was it. All the practice, all the rehearsals had finally brought Lydia to Pine Street. Broadway was the goal, but The Chaplin Theatre was a start.

Denise was stricken with a mysterious illness. Lydia, always the understudy, was now the star. She was the female lead in Of Mice And Men: The Musical. It didn’t matter that she was the only female or that her character was nameless. She was an important, though underappreciated, character. She would make her famous. She would name her. She always liked the name Lydia.

Why was her understudy looking at her like that?

The ocean murmurs to the beach
And all the grains of sand

I crumble as the waves reach

Where you scribed your love by hand

Two sets of footprints have become one

The other’s were washed away

I walk alone by the fading sun

I cherish each diminishing ray

Now, you’re gone. Now, we’re done

When does the pain wash away

The ocean issued a brief speech

King Octopus has sent the command

Spread the word as far as you can reach

The ocean creatures are taking over the land

I’m spreading to where the land is

The whole world’s about to be Atlantis

It’s Wednesday again, which means it’s time for Friday Fictioneers. It’s always Friday somewhere, right? Not on Earth, but somewhere, somewhere out there among the stars it’s Friday. Hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields,each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the following photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © Valerie J. Barrett

T For Tea

“Fancy a spot of tea?” Brian asked.

“That was the worst English accent I have ever heard,” Jessica said.

“Ever?”

“Ever.”

“Harsh.”

“I hope your tea is better than your accent.”

“It is. Here. Careful, it’s hot.”

Jessica blew gently on her tea, then carefully sipped. “Mmm… It’s sweet, but there’s something a little tart. Wha…” She grabbed at her throat.

“Remember that time, 30 seconds ago, when you made fun of my English accent?”

Jessica only managed a gurgle in response.

“I’ve been planning my revenge ever since,” Brian cackled through his pseudo-English accent. “At last, vengeance is mine!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could not think of a reason for Brian to kill Jessica that wasn’t cliché, cheating, embezzling, he found out she was secretly his long-lost sister… I came up with one where she cheated at a game of Monopoly three years ago, and he’s been carefully plotting his revenge. It made me laugh. Then, I decide to just go the full absurd and do a call-back to the accent joke. I was a little concerned that not everybody would remember that from the very beginning of the story but decided to take my chances.

Friday Fictioneers: Surprise!!!

It’s been a while since I’ve participated in Friday Fictioneers. My computer’s hardly been on in the last couple months. I’m hoping to reverse that trend. As a reminder, mostly to myself, Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who provides us with a photo prompt. Each week’s challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by said photo prompt.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ceayr

Surprise!!!

Steve ascended the stairs to his home for the final time. Perhaps, if he knew what he’d find, he would have abstained, turned, and run away.

Steve’s birthday was next week. It was his 30th, a birthday he dreaded. It was also a birthday he’d never see.

Cindy was late for everything. Maybe that’s what made the surprise so effective. Steve wasn’t expecting a party, especially not a week early.

That Friday evening, Steve scaled the stairs with visions of a relaxing weekend lounging in his mind. He opened the door.

“SURPRISE!!!”

He staggered backward and tumbled over the railing.

A To Z Challenge N: ¡No Más!

I am officially admitting defeat in the A To Z Challenge. I alluded to this possibility in a previous post when I first started. My life is in shambles right now. I have a lot going on. I had to go out of town for a couple weekends. One right at the beginning of the challenge and last weekend. I inherited a lot of furniture, which are all upgrades. Anything that wasn’t an upgrade got donated or trashed. So, the house is chaos.

I live with my best friend in her house. We moved in just as a family she knew needed a place to stay. We all moved in at once. Things got put in places for convenience and never moved. They were here for about four months. That was a few years ago.

One of the many things I got was a new desk. It wasn’t inherited, but that’s a different story. Someone’s moving and gave it to me at the same time. I piled it in the U-Haul on top of all the furniture I inherited. I thought it would be nice to have a desk that wasn’t primarily composed of particle board. Parts of my old desk disintegrated in the rain when we moved in. I wanted it in my bedroom where my other one was. I got it in there and tried to put it back together yesterday. It didn’t come close to fitting.

My bed room is becoming an office. My friend paints, so her painting studio is moving out of the living room into the newly minted office. My exercise room is becoming my bedroom, which it was initially supposed to be after everybody else moved out. I’m hoping there’s still room for my exercise equipment and space to use it. The dining room is going to become a dining room. Imagine that.

In the meantime, everything is out of place. My desk is sitting in there in pieces with my bed and a really heavy dresser that’s facing the wall and blocking the doorway. There are books all over the floor in two different rooms. The empty book cases don’t look right of fit anywhere I can think to put them. There are boxes full of stuff that keep getting moved from room to room to room and back and back and back. I’m stuck with a dresser I didn’t want because it’s in what’s becoming my room and there’s nowhere else for it to go. Everything that moves necessitates moving something else. It’s like moving but worse because things are already in the way.

I’m using the dining room table as a desk right now. I’m surrounded by chairs, a dresser, a coffee table, shelves of DVDs, leaves for the dining room table, books on the floor, two TVs, a random stool, a cabinet full of video games, and a box full of James Brown, Lou Seal, and ET among other random objects.

The garage is full of old furniture, new furniture, and stuff we’re trying to organize for a community garage sale at the beginning of next month. That’s on top of the garage’s normal chaos. The car can’t fit in there. I can’t get to my weight bench that lives in there. I’m probably way too physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted to use it anyway.

In addition to that chaos, I found a dying rabbit in the gutter in front of my house this morning. It survived some kind of animal attack to die in a gutter. I’m still waiting for animal control to get here. It’s been over an hour. I have a blood donation appointment, that I’ve already rescheduled, and a dentist appointment next week. We won’t even get into my personal life, which is literally so personal that it’s just me sitting alone in the dark with my computer.

The point of all that is I don’t have time to write. Writing is all I want to do other than form some semblance of a personal life. I’m going to try to still do my normal weekly challenges, but I don’t know. I did start an M story. I hope to finish that and get it up. This is my N, and I’m pretty sure N was yesterday. I’ve enjoyed the challenge and want to finish, but it’s not happening.

Thank you to everybody who read my stories. I’m sorry I didn’t make it out to read more of other people’s, but, you know, this. You can read the rest of my A To Z Challenge stories.

I hope this came out more coherent than my house.

The garbage truck is here. The rabbit is lying next to the garbage can. I hope they don’t smash it. I can’t look.

Versatile Blogger Award

Marysa Writes nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award. This looks much more like a chain letter than an award, but I like Marysa and respect her artistry, and I appreciate the thought, so I’ll play along. At least, there’s no threat that a homeless person will break into my house, eat my dog and pee on the floor if I don’t pass it on.

Here we go:

Thank you so much Marysa Writes for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award.

The Rules

1. If you are nominated, Congratulations you have been awarded the Versatile blogger award.

2. Thank the person who gave you the award and include a link to their blog.

3. Select 10 -15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.

4. Nominate those bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.

5. Tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

7 things about Nobbinmaug:

  1. I’m Nobbinmaug. You’re welcome. (I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but it makes me laugh.)
  2. I am Eereeenían, which is way better than being human.
  3. Eereeenían’s are immune to time.
  4. I wrote the classic books The L Squad & Norman Normalson & The Normals. They’re not classics now, they’re not even published, but I see all time and know what is to come.
  5. I once ate a grasshopper. It was gross. (It was in a restaurant. I don’t just scrounge the yard for tasty morsels. “Ooh, grasshopper.”)
  6. The gopher ate my burrito.
  7. I am easily distracted. “Ooh, grasshopper.”

7 things about me:

  1. Oh, I already used my seven? Oh well.

Blogs I nominate:

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