Flash Fiction: Diabolical Deer

This was written for Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Each week’s challenge is to write to a prompt in exactly 99 words. This week’s prompt is to “write a story in which a character takes charge.”

Diabolical Deer

“You’re not the boss a me.”

“I’m older. That means I’m in charge.”

“I’m tellin’ Mom and Dad when they get back.”

“What if they don’t come back?”

“They’ll be back. Won’t they?”

“You never know. There’s a lot of bad shit out there. Robbers, murderers, diseases, deer*…”

“What if they don’t come back?”

“We fend for ourselves. It’ll be up to me to take care of you.”

“They better come back.”

“They probably won’t.”

“Mommy! Daddy!”

“Hi, guys. Is everything O.K.?”

“Yeah. How was the movie?”

“It was really bad. Lucas should have never sold Star Wars to Disney.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*True story: Last night, I got a panicked call from my best friend. It took a few minutes to get this out in a way that was coherent and understandable. She was driving home from shopping for apocalyptic survival supplies. She was driving on a nearly empty freeway when she was hit by a deer. Let me say that again. She was hit BY a deer on the FREEWAY! It ran across the freeway and crashed into the side of her car. She was shaken up but not hurt. The car, however, looks like a deer ran across the freeway and crashed into the side of it. Apparently, deer watch The Walking Dead and think that’s where we’re heading. They are taking back their land. Coronavirus is horrible, but deer are the real threat lurking on our freeways, poised to attack.

Flash Fiction: Carrot Ranch

This was written for Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Each week’s challenge is to write to a prompt in exactly 99 words. This week’s prompt is to write about a rabbit on a roof. It’s inspired by a true story Charli told this week as part of the prompt.

Carrot Ranch

“Is that a bunny on the roof?”

“Rabbit.”

“What?”

“Bunny is the equivalent of a slur to them.”

“Uh… Is that a rabbit on the roof?”

“Yep.”

“You don’t seem impressed.”

“Nope.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Working at a Carrot Ranch, one learns not to underestimate rabbits.”

“Even climbing on the roof?”

“They used to tunnel under the fence until we extended it deeper.”

“That doesn’t explain how it got on the roof.”

“Nope.”

“How do you think it got up there?”

“Parachute, maybe.”

“Parachute?”

“Maybe. Our job is not to question the rabbits but to protect the carrots.”

Flash Fiction: Be The Change

This was written for Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Each week’s challenge is to write to a prompt in exactly 99 words. This week’s prompt is to write a protest story.

“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.” – Mitch Hedberg

Be The Change

“Here’s another depressing news story. We should do something.”

“Like what?”

“Protest.”

“Protest what?”

“I don’t know. Pollution. Corporate tax cuts. Guns. Puppy mills.”

“Car washes.”

“What? You’re mocking me.”

“I am. What about actors who play roles inconsistent with their ethnicity? Innocuous lyrics to Christmas songs from the 1940s?”

“I’m serious. We live in a world where a xenophobic, rapist, megalomaniac, demagogue was elected president over a qualified woman amid cries of ‘Lock her up’ because she sent emails from the wrong account.”

“That’s why I’m protesting elections. You’re not gonna change anything.”

“Maybe we should protest apathy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m all for protesting puppy mills but not Charli Mills, Supreme Leader of the Carrot Ranch. My friend and I have an inside joke that people standing out on the street with signs for their fund-raising car washes are protesting car washes. Once, she even leaned out the window and yelled, “Why are you protesting (Looooong Awkward Pause) car washes?” It’s one of those you-had-to-be-there, but that’s the joke. I know jokes are never funny when they have to be explained, but it’s funny to me, so it’s staying in.

Flash Fiction: Collapse

This was written for Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Each week’s challenge is to write to a prompt in exactly 99 words. This week’s prompt follows a brief discussion of wife-carrying contests and is to write about a situation in which one might need to carry one’s wife. I only carry my wife in my imagination since I don’t have one. That is not the story I wrote.

This is heavily edited from its original form, which was about twice as long. Sadly, I had to cut a joke from the end about my protagonist hoping his children were all right. Yes, it was a dark joke. In its final form, his children never existed, which may be darker.

Collapse

It hit in the wee hours while Ricardo and Selema were asleep. The rumble thrust them into consciousness. The ceiling sent Selema reeling into unconsciousness.

Living in the Bay Area, Ricardo knew the dangers of aftershocks. The fallen beam would lead to further collapse.

Ricardo cleared the debris off Selema. He hoisted her, thankful for her time at the gym, wishing he made time for the gym. He struggled with the locks as the first aftershock shook. He heard a crash in the bedroom. The earth steadied, and Ricardo opened the door.

From outside, the sagging roof was visible.

Flash Fiction: Rabbit Hutch

This was written for Carrot Ranch’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Each week’s challenge is to write to a prompt in exactly 99 words. This week’s prompt is to write about a hutch.

Rabbit Hutch

Jen’s dad made the rabbit hutch for her when she was 8. She cherished it. He wasn’t around much when she was a kid.

When she was 12, he left on a business trip and never came home. He left no word, and the police found no clues.

When she got her own house, she decided to set up the hutch in her yard. Maybe someday her kids would breed and show rabbits.

When she and her friends were disassembling the hutch, she found a secret compartment. She forced open the rusty hinges revealing a large bag of diamonds.

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