PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy
Shouldn’t it be Anti-Social Distancing?
I accidentally wrote two this week. Both are brilliant. Cherish them. Or don’t. Either way.
“That is not a phone.”
“Yeah, it is. It’s an old-timey phone.”
“No. Phones look like this. See? Does that thing even have WiFi?”
“No. Old-timey phones didn’t get WiFi.”
“See? It’s not a phone. No WiFi, no phone.”
“I’m telling you, it’s a phone.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Lizzie says that thing’s a phone.”
“You scared the doodliepoops out of me.”
“Lizzie’s making up stories.”
“It is a phone.”
“Haha, April Fools!”
“No, seriously. Before that, phones used a dial, and they had cords.”
Sarah called the authorities, on her actual phone, and had her mom and Lizzie committed.
This planet was dominated by a species called homo sapiens. They rose to prominence via their intelligence. Somewhere during their evolution, they lost that intelligence or grew arrogant and apathetic.
They were a fragile species. Still, they were violent. They polluted their planet and bodies. They ignored warnings about the spread of disease. The planet retaliated.
Their pollution led to changes in the weather. Viruses mutated and grew stronger. Animal life became more aggressive. Deer attacked their freeways. Rodents, birds, raccoons usurped their edifices.
We have studied them through something called YouTube. They were a horrible species, destined for failure.
“Fragile Species” is not about a certain virus, which shall not be named. It was inspired by the bird in the picture and a true story. It is so bizarre that this is the second story I’ve worked it into. The first is here.
The other night, my best friend/roommate went shopping after work. (She works as a medical biller, which, in a time of mass illness, is essential. Really? That’s the most important thing? To make sure sick people pay their bills? That’s more important than her staying home and not getting and spreading the virus? She’s such a good person that she volunteered to make masks for those who have to see patients. Sorry for that mini-rant tangent.) Around 19:00, I got a frantic, incoherent call.
What happened? Did someone get within 6 six feet? Did she find toilet tissue and have it taken from her? Did someone cough in her vicinity?
She eventually calmed down enough to tell me pieces of what happened. She was driving on the nearly empty freeway. When, suddenly, out of somewhere, a deer ran across the freeway and hit her car. Let me say that again. A deer ran across the FREEWAY and HIT her car. He slammed himself into the side of the car going 65ish MPH.
My theory is that deer watch “The Walking Dead” and assume that’s where we’re going, so they’re taking this opportunity to take over the world. Or it’s a revenge hit for all the deer she hit while living in a small coastal town in Northern California.